Saturday, April 04, 2009

Cold Release

I wonder why im so envious on her. Well, it's probably because she gets what she wants and maybe because she's living the life I can only dream of. I can't be blamed for pitying myself more each time I see her. She makes me realize how far/how different we are from each other and how an apple like me fell so far from the tree. It's no wonder why most of the time I call myself a loser; how am I to compete with her? It's just hopeless.

Even when we were little, she had already established that bar, which separated the two of us. It was her who had more talents, although I practically developed my own in other fields, still I was left way behind her. I envied her ever since. Then, unknowingly, I was already dreaming to live her life.

But now, it's different. I have grown already. I now know what I want in life and what I want for myself. Is it just too hard to believe that I have also chosen to take the same field of study as hers? That for no known reason, I desperately want to be a DOCTOR?! fc*k

Out of boredom and my impossible dream.

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