Temporary Dismissal

Music Playing: Our House by Phantom Planet

I don't know exactly what to post on right now. I just opened a new window for a new post then I started writing. I'm afraid I lost almost three quarters of my day only doing unimportant stuffs. I feel so depressed having to receive my grades for the first semester in my fourth year of college. You see, our grades are seen through the internet and I've been waiting to see it since Monday. For that reason, I always check on the website every two hours just to know if one of my professors had submitted our grade already.

Past three this afternoon, I turned on my computer and typed in the U.P. website. Unfortunately, I was baffled by what I saw on the column for my academic status, it said, "DISMISSAL". Next to it, I saw my tentative GWA, which was 3.5. God knows were to pick me up if I'm totally dismissed in my degree program. As I opened the details on my current grades, I saw that there were only two grades, one for my Seminar subject and the other one for my Technical Writing subject. I got 2.0 and 4.0, respectively. I don't know what to do next so I went off straight to the bathroom and took a bath. After a short, non-refreshing, bath, I went back to my room to change but while I was changing, I checked on the website one more time. There I saw that my GWA increased so do the status became a "WARNING".

I still feel depressed and down. Now, I totally find myself lost to my exhausting, untollerably crazy life. Things, right now, are messed up and I can't find a way to fix them. Many questions run through my mind such as: When will I go home? What should I do? What's the best thing to do? How should I spend my break with greatest benefits? Should I just stop and accept defeat? Will I still be able to graduate on time?... I believe there are alot more questions - all I want to be answered. I just hope it wouldn't be too late then.


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la, la, la,...life used to be so hard...[it still is] --> a song by Phantom Planet

Shut up!

I wanna stop, think for a minute or two then shout out to people with attitude problems. Damn, why does people nowadays tend to forget about what they've learned when they were little. All i want is just some piece of respect here.Why is it that when i start to speak up, people would just talk out loud as if they never heard me? Am i that too unimportant? Are the words I'm saying nonsensical for everyone? Please, hear me out.

After the enormous load this semester has given me including the final exams and papers that took away my whole week's good night sleep, I wonder why i am still not rejoicing. Not an hour had past when Mr.Not tried to deliberately ignore my unsolicited opinion and advice. Well, the fact that he opened the topic and when i plunged into it, he just withdrawn the whole conversation. I just hope he did consider on how i felt after he dumped out my opinion. Anyway, things could not get any worse if i start to avoid him, right? Yeah, that's probably what I'll do for the couple of weeks to come.


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"I leave my friends not because I hate them but because I wanna keep them longer."

Horoscope: Change

Lovely it is to see change in me but is it too late already?

I read my horoscope for the day right after I opened my computer. Here's how it goes:

Wanting change in your life and making change happen in your life both have one thing in common -- patience. If someone else holds the power over a big promotion, job change or other kind of role change, you cannot force them to make their decisions any faster than they are going to make them. And if you are working at creating new change, you have to understand that everyone else doesn't necessarily move on your timetable. Just take a deep breath! Then wait.

This quote holds true to how I feel right now. Chad mentioned to me the other night that he was quite surprised on how I changed since the start of the semester. My old self was too different on the current me. Although for awhile, I thought, did I really change? Or is it just the fruit of the moment. I mean, I have a lot of things to do right now and there's practically no time for leisure. Perhaps it is not the right time for the easy-going "me".

Additionally, I believe that if I have changed, then it is also brought up by the people around me. I am thankful for my good friends that are making me feel that I am important. In the past, I felt so down. I even pitied myself for being neglected by the people I considered as friends. Now I no longer feel that way. I am happy and so i am encouraged to do good in school. That's probably the reason why they say I have changed. I just want to thank them. Thank you, guys!

Although they say I have changed, I still feel it's already too late. The problems I am currently facing started for quite a while now and so I think it is no longer possible for me to change the way things are going be. Maybe I'll still end up disappointing myself. I hope there's still a chance. Please help me, God.


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How high is the sky?