Helpless

Helpless

I do not share the same experiences as you do and probably the sheer reality that I have never been involved in a relationship before has blinded me to the emotions you are showing me this very moment.
Every time you share me the stories about you and him [edit](her?hahaha)[/edit]], I think of how I would answer you or talk to you.
The exact words would never come out in my mouth and that I would stay silent trying to hear you.
As your friend, I want to help you out, tell you things that would perhaps lighten up your feelings and maybe give you some pieces of advice.
I hope you would understand.
I never experienced any of these and I remain ignorant regarding these stuffs.
This is why you would notice me avoiding these topics because I know I can give only a little bit of help or probably none at all.
Just want you to know even though I am like this, I still care for you.
I may be of no use at all but I can stay and just listen.

____________
Don't be stupid.
I'm talking to you.


...madrama masyado...hahahaha...tuod ka man hadi..joke la..char!=P

Running Away

Running Away

Unknowingly, I betrayed myself for posting my thoughts and feelings the other day.
I could have just started the whole recovering thing without the world knowing that it happened.
But for sure people already have read that and must have been thinking who you are.
I'd like to tell them you're just someone unreal and that I just created you with my own imagination.
It would have been easier erasing every memory of you in me...
Well, in that case, no one would be too gullible enough to believe in that crap.
Or may be you are - just a part of my imagination.
You’re just someone who truly exist but live in a different way.
Now you think I'm gibberish, right?
I've been nonsensical.
You’ve been staying as cool as you are. Not knowing how I really feel.
I should have been blaming myself from the start.
It was I who got me through this agony I am in now.
You have done nothing else but to be my friend.
I should stop right away.

________
"or may be you are - just a part of my imagination."
-Running away can be very hard especially when you know your heart will be left behind broken.

Confused

Confused

I wonder if every thing i did was right.
I chose not to go on with the way I felt and just forget everything that had happened.
Although at some point I still argue with myself what could have happened if i had chosen pursuing my feelings and let the whole world know how i felt.
But then it came to me that the friendship i have now with you is the best thing that i ever had and that i would never try to break.
If in any case you feel uncomfortable about this situation, please don't even think i had used our friendship to get to you.
Please don't misjudge me or hate me.
I never intended any of this to happen.
Even I myself don't like the way I feel right now and that i practically want it to wash away as fast as i could.
I still want you as my friend, you know...


____________________
It really is true.
The harder you fall, the lonelier you become.