Sunday, November 23, 2008

Reality Bites

I sprung up into my feet realizing my day past by with me not noticing.

I woke up this morning, nearly lunch time, with my eyes set widely to my phone's clock as I glared in amazement. The sun was blazing hot outside, people already busy doing their weekend chores and I hear from the other room, my housemates were already busy chattering. It was then I remembered that I purposely overslept. It was the howling, spinning head of mine that knocked me off to bed last night. It was still the same feeling lingering on my head that kept me on my bed the whole morning, although fainter this time. I made an easy rise from my bed and went down to freshen up.

After eating lunch with a little enthusiasm - I was already alone at home when I got up; I went up straight to my room to open my computer. Just then I decided to entertain myself for the rest of the day reading another book. I have it here in my computer a copy of the Twilight Series ebooks. I'm done reading Twilight so my next was the New Moon. My friends' disapproval with my habit never really bothered me. They say that reading in front of my computer would stress out my eyes but then I never really cared. Reading felt so diverting. As chapters past, I did not recognize the clock was even ticking and that the time had flew by too fast. Barely thinking, as already my usual habit, I looked at my phone’s digital clock and to my dismay it was already 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Time had swiftly flown by and I can not believe that I wasted another day accomplishing nothing aside from finishing off eight chapters of an ebook.

I gently pressed down my body to the comfy warmth of my bed and slowly closed my eyes. I tried to think about the things I was supposed to do - my school works that I had intentionally neglected. For a brief moment I wanted to rewind everything and put them all in the "right" place. And there, again, the feeling of defeat, cowardliness, and self-pity ruled over my body. I was half ashamed of myself. It was because of my lack of confidence and spirit towards the concept of "work" that dislodged me from my now, poor-fated reality. This time, I sprung out of bed to head off downstairs. The place had already darkened and the night had fallen faster than I thought it would be. I knew why I was doing all these nonsense stuffs and I knew pretty well that these won’t serve its purpose. I thought I can get out of this much easier but I was wrong. Clearly, an escape from reality was not the right thing to do but this is the only way I know and I this is how I do it.

I ended up my day still reading the "supposedly diverting" ebook. Well, it did take up much time for me not to wonder about my now, down-fated, real life. I'm even quite astound that I'm actually writing about it right now, describing all in detail. I wonder how I'll get through this. Urgh!

Reality bites me again.

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