Thursday, August 06, 2009

Sick Routine

Damn, I’m screwed. I just finished watching Grey’s Anatomy Season 5 at 2:55 in the morning. Gawd, this is crazy. Why the hell would I watch that whole fucking series in one freakin day? That’s just nuts…

It’s no more than a year now since I stopped working on my thesis, moreover, it’s been less than half a decade have I started living away from home. In those freakin years I have learned nothing other than completely ignoring and consciously wasting my fucking damn life. For years, I have done nothing but sit still and watch everything pass me by. All I did was just let things go as they are no matter how awful they may be. I’m just stuck up like shit waiting for someone to step on me and that’s just sick.

Today, I wasted a pretty damn day watching a TV series that had only got me frustrated about myself. The night before, I started playing the DVD and I stopped at 4:00 in the morning. I woke up past 10:00 and I continued watching it. Now, I’m done. I’m done doing this crazy stuff. I’m done sleeping my life away. I’m done acting like a child and start being mature. I’m done playing games. Lastly, I’m done quitting the things that matter to me the most. I’ll have to trust myself and stop doubting my abilities. I’m sick of living the same day after another. It’s just tiresome doing nothing. Better yet start anew.

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03:32;08.06.09

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