Why?

I'm almost out of tears. I've cried for a night. I thought it was the best way to fix this. I was wrong. It broke my heart even greater, harder, and now it's totally broken. I just hope you'll forgive me in time. After what happened today, I walked home. I was thinking about what happened and then I just said to myself that it would be the last time. It was the 3rd time and it already lasted for almost a year and still counting. I've waited for so long. I don't know if I'd still be able to wait a little more. While walking, tears kept on falling from my eyes and I wasn't able to control it. What you did today was so painful.

It's almost Christmas and I thought, before I go home this vacation, I would see you and talk to you. Hoping we can fix what was broken and become friends again. I wonder if tomorrow I wake up with the same courage as of today and still be hoping this will one day end. But if tomorrow, I wake up without that same courage and will, then I'll just let things be the way they are right now. I'll stop waiting and hoping you'll change your mind. I'll just end it with the simple sorry I sent you tonight.


p.s. why is it that you don't want to talk to me?