Veiled Lines

Will I be convicted by any living man if I would express myself truly? Or should I just end up letting my heart burst into pieces for containing my happiness for so long? I surely do let myself have some devilish little laughs in times of nearly breaching my limits but for how long will I keep it to myself? With those childish, sinful grins I have breathed my heart little by little but never had been any chance I expressed myself more. I know demanding for more would mean opening up with no pretense to the world. It sure does sound appealing yet I dread other people’s remarks afterwards. Better still keep my own insanity hidden to the unappreciative world I was born into.

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22:42;05.17.09

The Big Fat Liar

We can never have everything we want in our life. The truth is there are times we need to lie to ourselves that we’re happy and contented to what we are at the moment even if it’s not how we want it to be. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of our loved ones. It may be painful, but doing so gives meaning to our own existence. Maybe, some of us were just not meant to have joyful endings. At the end, we’ll just have to admit to ourselves that all those years we lived were simply the fruit of our unselfish lie.

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14:26;05.14.09

Laugh It Off

“You make it sound as if it’s a disease.”

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Would there be even a CURE if it is?

It Makes No Difference

I seem to understand now the importance of having a positive attitude in any way and in which ever place you may be. The days I had in all places I went to were just simply the mirror image of the other. Although I can’t consider myself to be well-traveled and that I practically visited only a few places in my entire life, I’d say, they’re all pretty much boring to the point that I’d rather spend my days sleeping. I can see now that although being in other places would mean being with different people and living a different lifestyle, it would always depend on how you’d come up to entertain yourself. Moreover, things would just change only if you choose to. It is us who decide whether or not to be happy. We are the ones who give meaning to all the things that happen to us and how we all equate everything is according to our discretion.

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Think positive. It’s all in the mind. It is US who create the difference. So smile!

From M.D. to J.D.

I came from Manila after a week stay with my newly found relatives there to attend my sister's graceful exit from medical school. It was quite frustrating since I dream of graduating from medical school myself but I failed to convince my mom to send me off to med school. My stay there was so tiresome, me and my mom kept on arguing about where to send me after I graduate in college. And my sister won't stop pushing me to attend her grad and had always sided with my mom that I should go to law school. Even my cousin, Ara, won't agree with me that I'd do better if I go med school. They all just laughed at me. Urgh!

I can't help but to envy my sister. Especially, after the commencement exercise, they kept on addressing her as,"Doctora" or "Dr. Mendoza". Don't get me wrong, I am truly delighted that she finally graduated from med school. Imagine how it feels to have a doctor as a sister? Haha!

Anyway, it was still fun being there and being with my other relatives including the nice, comfy accommodation. Thank you so much to Kuya Nerio, Ate Elsa and the others for the warm welcome. I sooo love the non-stop eating. Hehe. [my tummy got bigger that my pants won't fit now...] Well, one more thing that made me glad I went to attend my sister's grad, I finally got myself a laptop. See? I should be happy. lol

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Oh, by the way, my mom now made her final decision. I'm going to law school. Damn.