Keep It Fresh

how long was that? about 3 or 4 years?
im still damn soaked in mud and tears
still mightily trying to get up from the last time
and now you're back to pull me down?
please
if you're leaving, then go now!
and never come back again


_________
i'll just have to save my heart for now
wrap it in a plastic bag and put it in the freezer.

Why?

I'm almost out of tears. I've cried for a night. I thought it was the best way to fix this. I was wrong. It broke my heart even greater, harder, and now it's totally broken. I just hope you'll forgive me in time. After what happened today, I walked home. I was thinking about what happened and then I just said to myself that it would be the last time. It was the 3rd time and it already lasted for almost a year and still counting. I've waited for so long. I don't know if I'd still be able to wait a little more. While walking, tears kept on falling from my eyes and I wasn't able to control it. What you did today was so painful.

It's almost Christmas and I thought, before I go home this vacation, I would see you and talk to you. Hoping we can fix what was broken and become friends again. I wonder if tomorrow I wake up with the same courage as of today and still be hoping this will one day end. But if tomorrow, I wake up without that same courage and will, then I'll just let things be the way they are right now. I'll stop waiting and hoping you'll change your mind. I'll just end it with the simple sorry I sent you tonight.


p.s. why is it that you don't want to talk to me?

Stick

walked home with another stick at my right hand.
now im having a chest pain.
gradually it will kill me.
soon my life will just pass out as if i never existed.
i'll be gone and nobody will notice.
not even a single soul will cry.

Too sad, too lonely...

Too sad, too lonely...
Ayoko magdrama ngayon but i can't help it. Sobrang lungkot ko ngayon because pagkatapos ng isang buwan mahigit, babalik na ako sa amin. Di naman na ayaw ko na umuwi pero nagkaroon na kasi ako ng friends dito sa Diliman and syempre ayokong basta-bastang iwan at kalimutan nalang sila. Kahit ang liit lang ng time na inispend ko dito parang napalapit na din ako sa kanila. I feel so sad talaga...

I went to school this afternoon para magsubmit ng paper ko, ni Yza, Angel, at ng sa groupmates ko. Ilan lang nakita ko sa mga classmates ko. I was hoping pa naman sana na makita ko ung iba lalo na ung mga kasama sa Baguio. Kahit papano naman naging close kaming sampu ng dalawang araw. After the trip di na ulit kami nagkita-kita. Ang lungkot naman kasi nung nangyari - naging close kaming sampu nung katapusan na nung summer classes namin. Ang sama talaga sa feeling.

Si Angel lang ata ung nakasama ko kanina. Though i saw Feona and Maricel there, di ko pa rin nakita ung iba. Di ko nga din nakita si Micah. Si Micah na kasi ung madalas kong nakakasama after sa class and tuwing lunch. Last ko na siyang nakita nung Monday, May 22. Kala ko makikita ko pa ulit siya ngayong araw pero di na pala. Umuwi na siya sa probinsya nila. Di ko alam when ko ulit siya makikita pati na ung iba kong classmates.

I went to SM North with Angel after naming ipass ung paper namin. Di na kasi nakarating si Yza kaya di na siya nakasama. Sobra kasi ang traffic kanina. Niyaya ko siya Pizza Hut kasi I was craving for pizza kaya nilibre ko na din siya. Naisip ko din kasi, that would be the last time I would see her. Minabuti ko nang magenjoy kanina, We talked...and talked the whole time na nandun kami. Imagine naubos namin ung pizza nung mga 7pm na eh pumunta kami dun mga past 5pm. Usap lang talaga. I hope maulit uli yun. Masaya siyang kausap and di rin mauubusan ng mapagkukwentuhan sayang nga lang talaga na wala dun si Yza.

Kawawa naman ata si Yza kanina. Siya kasi ung topic namin ni Angel. Napag-usapan namin ung nangyari dun sa Baguio nung Saturday o Sunday morning na ba yun. Gumimik kasi kaming sampu doon and nagdisco kaming dalawa ni Yza. Daming di makakalimutang pangyayari...hehehe. Dami tinanong si Angel, di kasi niya matanong yun kay Yza. Para daw kasi siyang naiilang at di niya alam kung pano din tatanungin si Yza.

Siguro mamimiss ko talaga sila lalo na parang yung nangyari dun is maaalala ko talaga. Mahirap ata kalimutan yung mga taong yun. Kahit two days lang parang ang hirap nilang kalimutan. Ganun ata talaga ako. Ayoko makakilala ng friends na hindi rin naman pala pwedeng magtagal kahit anong pilit ang gawin ko. Siguro naman kasi makakabalik na ulit ako ng Manila after ko nang makagraduate. Sa panahong iyon, siguro nakalimutan na namin ang isa't-isa 'tsaka meron na kami nung kanya-kanyang buhay. Ewan pero yun talaga tingin ko. Kahit nga sina Ate Era, Kuya Rick, at si Ate Beth mahirap talagang makalimutan pero it seems impossible na talaga na makita ko ulit sila. I hope magkaroon pa ng chance pero ang labo talaga. Hanggang pangarap nalang talaga ata un. Siguro goodbye nalang ata masasabi ko. Just move on. Balik na ulit ako sa dati kong buhay noon - noong wala pa sila at noong di ko pa sila nakakasama.

Itutulog ko na nga lang 'to.
Good night and goodbye nalang sa inyong lahat! Y-Y

QC

goodness!

I feel so damn bored!not just that im bored, im totally sad. I feel alone and been thinking bout going home to Borongan. I'm in Quezon City right now, Diliman to be exact. It's been a month since I arrived here and spent my summer in a place where I know no one. Although I got to meet new people and spent some of my vacant times with new friends, I still feel that I'm not enjoying my stay here. I go out and try to have fun. I even go out at night and stay outside until the sun starts to show up. I think I just miss my other friends in Tacloban and in Borongan. Anyway, i'll be going home in two weeks but before i go home, I have a field trip in my Kas2. We'll be going to Baguio. Yahoo!hehehe

'til here guys! I'll be posting more next time.